31 miles in a day!

My Mental Health Journey: The Battles People Never Saw

For as long as I can remember, my mind has never been quiet.

At just 15 years old, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what that meant. I only knew that I felt different. I felt overwhelmed by emotions I couldn’t explain, exhausted from fighting battles in my own head every single day, and completely lost in a world that expected me to just “get on with it.”

Over the years, I attempted suicide countless times. Looking back now, I realise I wasn’t trying to end my life — I was trying to end the pain, the constant thoughts, the belief that I wasn't good enough. When you’re struggling mentally, your brain can convince you that there’s no way out, no hope, and no future where things get better.

I spent years going back and forth to my GP, trying different antidepressants, hoping something would finally make me feel “normal.” Some numbed me. Some made things worse. Some did absolutely nothing. Deep down, I knew something still wasn’t right, but I couldn’t explain it.

Eventually, I was diagnosed with EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder). In many ways, it explained parts of me — the emotional intensity, the unstable moods, the shutting down, the fear, the overwhelming reactions. But even then, I still felt like there was another missing piece of the puzzle.

It wasn’t until September 2025 that I finally received a diagnosis of ADHD.

Suddenly, so much of my life started to make sense.

The emotional dysregulation. The racing thoughts. The shutdowns. The inability to control my emotions sometimes. Feeling completely overwhelmed by things other people seemed to handle easily. Masking my struggles. Burning out. Shutting out the world when things become too much.

Every single day for me is different.

Some days I can cope. Some days I can’t.

Some days I feel motivated and hopeful. Other days, even replying to a message or getting out of bed feels impossible.

Mental illness doesn’t look the same for everyone. Sometimes it’s tears and breakdowns. Sometimes it’s silence. Sometimes it’s pretending you’re okay because you don’t want to burden anyone else.

I still struggle. A lot.

But one thing I will always do is speak openly about it.

For years, I suffered in silence because I was scared of being judged, misunderstood, or labelled. But the more I opened up, the more I realised how many people were fighting similar battles behind closed doors.

If sharing my story helps even one person feel less alone, seek help sooner, or finally speak out about how they’re feeling, then every difficult conversation is worth it.

Mental health struggles are real. ADHD is real. EUPD is real. Depression and anxiety are real. And just because someone is smiling, working, parenting, joking, or posting online does not mean they aren’t struggling internally.

Please be kind to people. You never truly know what someone is carrying.

And if you are struggling yourself: please keep going.

Even when your brain tells you otherwise, your life matters. Your story matters. And there are people who genuinely want to help you through the darkest moments.

Speaking out saved me in more ways than one.

Maybe it could help save someone else too!