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I'm taking on 30 Miles this November for Mental Health UK
This November, I'm taking on 30 Miles in November to raise money for Mental Health UK.I'm walking, running or rolling 30 miles throughout the month to help ensure more people can access the mental health support they need, when they need it most.
Every donation, no matter the size, will help Mental Health UK continue providing vital services, information and support to people across the UK.
If you're able to, I'd be so grateful if you could sponsor me. Your support will help keep me motivated throughout the challenge and make a real difference to people's lives.
Thank you so much for your support!
My Updates
Me and Move November
Monday 19th Oct So the last year and a half has probably been one of the most difficult times for me and my mental health has taken the biggest hit. But I've done something I hadn't really done any other time.... I asked for help.Around this time last year I started having some counselling sessions and it did help me to notice patterns and helped to stop the more unhealthy coping strategies I had been using and replaced with better ones. However, it also brought up a lot of childhood trauma, SA trauma; it was like everything I'd pushed to the back of my mind or tried to bury and ignore was in a cupboard and the door was close to bursting like you see in the cartoons, and then POP!! The door had burst open and all those things had come to the forefront of my mind.
I opened up about it all to someone I thought was a safe place and cared for me. Turns out they were so far from what I thought. I started slipping back into patterns I hadn't done in like 14+ years. It all started off small comments or arguments that resulted in me taking full responsibility or changing bits of who I am. Gradually the arguments got bigger and I made myself smaller, quieter. As my mum called it a shell of myself. Past traumas were being used as weapons and it felt like my world was being torn to pieces, by 1 person and it was out of my control.
Recently I've looked into Trauma Bonding and how to recover. I'm also setting boundaries which was something I started working on last year. I've been to some very dark places, I've shut myself away, isolated myself. And I still am doing that at times, I don't want to be a burden or someone people feel they need to worry about, eventhough if someone I cared about was ever in a similar situation even if we weren't talking I would want them to feel like they could reach out.Â
I've been referred to specialist counselling and have a very supportive network that do regular checkins. I'm working on the patterns I saw and how to break it. I want to get my spark back, I want to laugh and smile and for it to be genuine and not just a mask. I want to discover who I am, what I am capable of, because it feels like most of my life I've not known who that is and that I'm lost. I would LOVE to not be in constant survival mode!! And to sleep properly!
So there's still a lot of work to do. Mental health isn't a quick fix and I know there will be days that are more difficult than others, there will be setbacks. But I also know that in some of my darkest and lowest days.... I survived it. I survived all the trauma and abuse and grief. It's all made me who I am at this point.
One of the first steps to take is to ask for help. And that needs to be normalised now!
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